Po-tay-toes, Po-tah-toes

Part I: A couple of posts ago, I mentioned the recent development of a Hulk-like irritability. We'll get back to that.

Part II: During most of my college and after years, I've had a pretty decent body self-image. I suffered from the normal flaws that every woman complains about and one or two imperfections unique to just me, but overall maintained a pretty healthy self-conception. In my humble opinion.

Part III: Before being one myself, I always read that pregnant women are more sensitive about their body images and I always thought, "What ever for? A legitimate excuse to gain wait, a cute little baby growing inside, great hair, that amazing glow that they all seem to have..." Horse radish. The people that say those things are obviously not pregnant.

Part IV: Slowly but surely I'm growing out of the "put on a few pounds" stage and into the "yep, probably safe to ask when she's due" stage. Not full blown, so you might not want to ask yet, but a critical eye could safely conclude that there's a baby in there.

Part V: I now have people telling me how "cute" I look. I'll walk down the hall and someone will say in an annoyingly knowing "I know what's going on here" voice: "I can see it-you're starting to show" or "Awww, you're starting to look really cute." Cute eh? (Sweating, twitches, stumbling to a place where nobody will notice me.) You think it's cute that I can't button a single pair of my pants and the only jackets that will zip up or button are the frumpy, sweatshirt like ones that are more appropriate for a hay-ride than for work?! (Clothes ripping, muscles popping, more sweat. 'you won't like me when I'm angry......') How cute would you feel if the LARGE WEIGHT, not the little top one, on the scale had to slide to the next notch for the first time in your life?! WE'VE RUN OUT OF LITTLE NOTCHES, PEOPLE! WE NOW HAVE TO MOVE THE BIG ONE! HOW CUTE IS THAT??!!! By this time I'm green and incredible and stomping down the hallway to my classroom.

Of course I just smile and say "thank you" and try to forget about my pants button or the large weight on the scale. I take it as a compliment in hopes that one day I will feel as cute in my perception as in others' pleasant delusions. To think that this is just the beginning. It all starts with cute. So far I'm just huge (and green) in my head--soon it will be apparent to all.