Mommy's Christmas List

Dear Santa,

I have been a very good girl this year. I have not only fostered the development of our daughter Elaina, but I have also given birth to another child, Olivia. They are both still alive and relatively well adjusted. I strive to maintain what some would consider "the patience of a saint" and try to be a good wife as well. I realize that Elaina's teeth don't get brushed every day, but I still feel that my behavior this year merits the granting of a few small requests. Most of these are fairly reasonable wishes, though I do concede that one or two would be true Christmas miracles (see number 3). Please bring me...

1. A pair of jeans that zip up without considerable spill-over.

2. Time to shower without anyone else in the bathroom playing peek-a-boo with the shower curtain or standing outside calling for mommy while practicing her new skill of turning doorknobs.

3. Eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Or two back to back chunks of four hours of sleep. Without ridiculous amounts of awake time in between. Any uninterrupted sleep would be nice, really.

4. A diaper genie-meaning, a being who tirelessly changes the 800 diapers a day that two children produce.

5. The ability to fall asleep immediately and/or anywhere, rather than tossing and turning for forty five minutes while thinking about I don't even know what.

6. A nice, stylish shirt that looks good on my body and does not have poop, spit-up, or snot on it.
Any article of clothing without poop, spit-up, or snot on it.

7. A potty trained, almost two-year-old.

8. The smooth stomach of a 28 year old, instead of the crepe paper looking stomach of a 98 year old that I currently possess.

9. The ability to remember forever how amazingly sweet our two little girls are and always appreciate this time with them.

Well Santa, there's my list. I will probably be awake to see you on Christmas Eve, unless you plan to bring me a bunch of number 3, in which case MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!